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• (646): View more from New York

  My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either

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• (707): View more from California

  why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?

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• (650): View more from California

  I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  You coming home soon, man?

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  HENBARSCLOSE

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake

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• (818): View more from California

  WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls

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