i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
