I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
