is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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