Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I have fence marks all over my body
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
