I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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