It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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