She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Randomize
