Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
