Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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