You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
