I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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