I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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