They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Even my vagina gasped.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
