I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
