Swine flu. Run for my life!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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