The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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