and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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