I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
