your room smells of hookers.
And success
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
