she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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