oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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