She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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