Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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