Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Naked. naked and bneed help.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
