mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
