Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
