nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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