i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
is it fun? or sober?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
