im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
you made out with another girl for some wings
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
