are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
