wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
