Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
