I puked a lego.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
