I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
