We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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