remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
