you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
