is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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