if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
