fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
