the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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