We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
