you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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