her vagine was all disorganized.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
