Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
