Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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