just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
