When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
