That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
